Do you know who invented the high school final exam?
It was this man, the philosopher, Giovanni Gentile.
It was 1923 and since then generations of students
have had to endure this traumatic event.
Enlighten me on Gabriele D'Annunzio,
who unfortunately passed away a few months ago.
Yes... the divine poet always maintained
an avant-garde mentality.
In fact, he had two ribs removed
so he could experiment new ways...
of giving himself pleasure.
Virgilio in the Georgics wrote:
“Si parva licet componere magnis. “
Molinari, please translate.
Yes, well...
si parva licet... they look like... they look like... anchovies...
componere magnis...
and they taste good with bread !
Molinari, have you studied Dante's Inferno?
I'd like you to recite the canto of Paolo and Francesca.
The chorus too?
How can you show up to an exam dressed like that?
Chill out, man! Peace and love.
Molinari, wakey, wakey !
Remember me? Mr. Martinelli, Your school-leaving exam...
Your science teacher? Answer the question.
The name of this phenomena is plate tectonics...
which sounds like a nasty word but really it's...
a scientific term.
So here I am
It's the last day of school, two weeks left to go
and I stand a one in a billion chance of passing the exams.
The style of the exams has changed over the years
and so have the teachers.
Take her for example, our math teacher.
She's explaining something very important.
The counterattack!
It's our only chance of beating those bastards in 5B.
If we don't win the match, none of you will pass.
Massi, centre-field. Riccardo, side zone.
Luca, attacker.
Make sure you score! All the others are defenders.
Santilli, don't lose your glasses, or you'll goalie the sidelines.
Ready?
THE NIGHT BEFORE FINALS - TODAY
Penalty!
Let's draw, then trash them!
I'll do a banana kick.
SuperMario moves down the pitch,
swaps the ball with Funghetto,
and homes in on his adversaries' zone...
one down, two down... shoot... it's a goal!
What a goal!
SuperMario's superpowers destroy his adversaries!
- Mum! - What are you doing?
Don't you realize my son is only 8 years old?!
He's good at foul play, though!
Two tortoises got sent off, nine players were left...
Let's go.
Paolo!
I put this here so customers can try out the games,
- ...not to scare them away! - He started it!
Come off it.
'Morning, mum, dad.
- Up at last! - Yeah.
How did your final go last night?
Not good. Massi missed a penalty kick.
- His banana kick? - Yes.
That's the second time you lose like that!
Just focus on your exams,
maybe Italy will win the world cup.
Yeah, right ! That'll happen!
If they do, I'll dye my hair red, white and green!
I will... you'll see.
ICE-CREAM?
I'm off. Bye.
- No studying then? - Come on, mum... you know me.
Just like his dad, eh?
- Damn you! - Did I hurt you?
- Yes! - It's only a cushion.
You hit me with the zipper.
Your nose is bleeding.
It always does, don't worry.
Sorry.
I'm Azzurra.
Okay, this is it.
Come on.
- Don't you have keys? - It's not my house.
No one ever comes here.
- We'll get arrested. - For a taking a swim?
- I don't have my swimsuit. - Me neither.
Wait !
- Get a move on! - Coming!
Watch me get hurt...
There, I knew it.
- You're sure no one's here? - Come in, it's lovely.
Just for five minutes.
Shit!
- What are you doing here? - This isn't number 31?
No, it certainly isn't! So you're the trespassers!
- No, let me explain... - I'll show you!
- Get dressed, miss! - Join us, it's warmer than usual!
- Go ahead and joke! - Don't get him going!
- Hello? Emergency? - Police.
Come right away, I've caught some trespassers.
There's a naked girl in my pool!
Lucky you!
Instead of joking,
you should be protecting the taxpayers.
If you promise the girl won't move, I'll come in person.
I'll be there in ten minutes. I'll take a cab, okay?
Stop!
Thanks to your jokes, they've run off.
Thanks a lot! What a waste of time.
Junkies.
You're still in high school ? You're just a kid then.
Well... I'm 19. How old are you?
22. Respect your elders, baby face!
It's not a big age-gap, we could still...
Still what?
- Well, you know... - No, what?
We could still be friends.
The Robby Doyle Jazz Band, you know them?
- I love them, Robby... - Really?
I love jazz.
They're in concert on Saturday.
I know.
I'd love to go, but it's all sold out.
- I've got two tickets. - You have?
We could go together, if you like.
Luca, I hardly know you but I already love you!
- Let's dine and dash! - What?
- We haven't paid. - I know!
She's nuts...
Darling! ""1 going, bye.
- Come back in one piece, okay? - What?
You're a lucky woman. I'm fitter than Superman.
I'll show them how to play soccer then come back. Bye.
- Where's my old man going? - To play soccer.
- Be careful you don't get hurt! - You too.
- Where are the beach house keys? - In there.
- They're not. - Take mine then.
Are you spending the night there?
Yes, we need to study.
- Right, with the sun, the sea... - I swear, we're going to study.
- Are these grandpa's? - Yes.
Where do you think I can get hold of tickets for the Robby Doyle Band?
- How much can you spend? - Whatever they cost.
I'll take care of it.
- Shit, the door's open! - Burglars!
Let's leave now, Simona's scared.
- And let them steal everything? - What if they're armed?
You chicken! Come on.
- Take this. - A clog?
You wanted a gun? It's all there is.
Stand back.
Dad?!
Teacher!
What are you all doing here? Is this a school trip?
Your teacher and I were just...
Leaving.
It's late.
- Goodbye, Mr. Molinari. - Goodbye, ma'am.
Drive slowly, traffic's bad tonight.
Well, as I was thinking of selling the house...
What do you think, Luca?
How are your studies going?
We're banging away.
So are you, by the looks of it.
Shall I make some spaghetti?
Dad, come outside.
Excuse me, family matters.
We need to discuss personal stuff. Make yourselves at home.
It's baking hot in there.
I need to put air-conditioning in or...
Apart from being married, that's bad enough...
couldn't you screw someone else?!
Screw...
we were being affectionate... but we talked a lot too...
she's a smart woman...
How long's the affair been going on?
I wouldn't call it an affair, we're friends.
Very good friends, and friendship...
How long?!
Since parent-teacher night, your mum couldn't go...
So I went. See, it's not entirely my fault...
If your mum had gone, you and I wouldn't be here...
Right.
Will you talk to your friends?
Because I wouldn't want them to misunderstand...
Don't worry, everything's crystal clear.
Go home, mum made you dinner.
I'm going.
The fat is in the fire.
Darling.
- Aren't you hungry? - No.
- How did your match go? - Awful.
I was winning 2-0, when the field was invaded.
Come to bed, champion. It's late.
I'll wait for you in bed.
20 years of marriage down the drain...
His mother doesn't know yet.
For now.
I can picture the scene: a splatter B-movie.
The wife cuts her husband's balls off,
then rips the teacher's heart out and eats it.
She survives and being heartless at the exam
fails Luca and gets her revenge, end credits.
It was a good idea to come to here tonight!
Luca, aren't you a bit old for toy cars?
Hi, Riccardo. What are you doing here?
- Your tickets. - Wow! That's great, thanks!
- What do I owe you? - 200 euros.
You're crazy... 200 euros for the Robby Jazz...
- You said "whatever the cost". - I know, but...
You can pay me tomorrow. See you.
What a ticket-tout!
Luca...
Come here, I need a word with you.
Do you think I'm a bastard?
You want the truth? Yes, I do.
I used to think that as well,
when I'd hear about these middle-aged guys
who fell for younger women.
Last night, I felt just like them.
You're even worse.
Yes, but I don't want this to spoil our relationship.
- What relationship ? - That's not fair.
You've never lacked anything. Love, toys...
That's no surprise!
You're being too harsh on me.
Everyone can have a moment of weakness.
Yes, but 6 months out of 46 years is just a fraction.
- When are you going to leave her? - Who?
Look, just a while ago I said to myself: "I'll leave her tonight".
It's time to end it.
- If it's not tonight, then tomorrow. - No.
Right, tonight's the night.
I need 200 euros.
No, I'm sorry. You know me...
I'll accept everything but not blackmail.
Here, count it.
- Another 50. - Right.
It got stuck here, I didn't see it.
He's a smart kid!
Thanks.
Listen, Elisabetta,
I've been thinking.
- Are we doing the right thing? - Yes.
Right.
Right, we're doing the right thing.
But then don't say...
Are you worried about something Luca said?
No way!
I was embarrassed to death when I saw them.
You weren't the only one!
Luckily, Luca didn't get too upset. He's a smart kid.
Good, because we're so happy together!
Really happy-
Especially now, as I've got some news for you.
- You're getting a transfer ? - No.
I'm two weeks overdue.
If I'm pregnant, it's a sign.
It's the perfect moment to leave your wife.
You said you don't make love anymore,
that you're like brother and sister.
Yes, I did. It's true.
- Would you be happy? - Are you kidding?
Of course I would.
Paolo.
- Paolo! - Darling.
- You're miles away. - No, it's just that...
I was thinking about a problem with the cycle.
A delay...
for the bicycle delivery.
- Is everything okay? - Yes, fine.
Dad?!
- How did it go? - What?
- You know, with my teacher! - Keep your voice down!
I'd say it went well.
Of course, she was upset.
But then, after a while...
- So you left her? - Yes, yes...
I left her.
- You're sure? - Positive. Have I ever lied to you?
- All the time. Where shall I start? - Forget it.
It's official, as from today... I'm single.
- Single? - Yes.
- Actually, you're married to mum. - Yes, apart from your mum...
I'm single.
- Okay. Well done. - Thanks.
- Bye, dad. - Bye, Luca.
Hi ! You're irritatingly punctual.
Yes, it's a bad habit... but also a good one.
- Meaning ? - The tickets.
I'll get dressed.
You look fine as you are.
- So did you like it ? - I loved it.
I love jazz fusion, the candle-light, it makes me close my eyes and...
Snore.
- I snored ? - A bit.
You must've caught me right when I closed my eyes.
Feel like a drink or do you have to be in by midnight ?
Well, no one's waiting up for me...
- Let's go then. - Okay.
We're going to Rimini, there's a rave on !
- I don't know, I'm with him... - We'll be back tomorrow.
- You want to come ? - Well ?
- To Rimini ? - Yes.
- Now ? - Yes.
Come on !
I was thinking of something more mellow.
- I need to study tomorrow... - Well... never mind.
But if you want to go... it's fine by me.
You really don't mind ?
No.
- I love you. - Hold on tight, ladies !
Have a nice night.
What a jerk !
Massi, I'll bet you 50 euros you can't get her number.
What her ? I'll bet 100.
Get your money ready.
Excuse me, my friends bet me I couldn't get your number.
Please, just give me a number, any number.
- Any number ? - Even your grandma's.
- How do you do it ? - Experience, charm...
That's bullshit !
Let's check. Call her.
Let's see if it's her number.
- You don't trust me ? - Exactly.
There's no friendship without trust...
It's ringing.
She might have got it wrong. You know, with all the noise...
You talk.
Hello ?
Hi, it's Massi, the guy you just spoke to.
I called you so you could have my number.
- I'm glad you did. - Really ?
- She's glad. - She's glad !
Maybe we can meet up sometime. How about it ?
- Honey, how about a sandwich ? - Okay, great.
- You sound pleased ! - I am.
See you soon then, big kiss.
Bye.
There's something I have to tell you... up yours !
No!
In the end she got into the car and left me standing there.
- You always choose the wrong girls. - Alice, don't you start !
It's just as well, It doesn't really matter.
Right, I can see that.
Well, you haven't stopped talking about her.
Go ahead and joke, I couldn't care less about her...
It's her !
- What do I do ? - Answer.
- Should I ? - Yes.
- Hi, Azzurra. - Hi, Luca. How are you ?
- Fine, thanks. - I just called...
to say I left my keys in your car.
On, right.
- I'll bring them to you. - Great ! But I'm at work !
- Can you come here ? - Yes. Where is it ?
- Which one is Azzurra ? - That one.
- So what do you think ? - She's good.
- She's pretty. - You can forget about it.
- Anyone lose some keys ? - Luca ! Thanks.
I'm sorry you had to come here.
Don't worry, we were near here and...
She's too sexy for Luca.
She'll break his heart.
- Should we warn him ? - No...
Let him learn his lesson.
- Who are they ? - They're my friends.
- We were in the car together and... - Hi !
You were great ! Your colleagues too !
So you're a sort of... marine dancer ?
No, I'm a trainer. I'm studying marine biology.
I could have listened to her for hours...
even though I was supposed to be studying.
But there was a conspiracy against me.
I had two enemies: Italy,
who were doing really well in the World Cup...
and that nutcase Azzurra, who was full of surprises.
- Hi. - Hi, Azzurra.
I brought my radio, but what's it for ?
- Tune in to RDS. - Welcome to RDS!
Marco Lioni's with you today!
Let's see how many fans we have
for the new Flash Mob... for all you Romans !
Three, two, one... let's go !
Take it off, Luca !
Come on !
Are you nuts ?
Azzurra !
Quick, run !
Good morning.
I'm Molinari.
Paolo. You asked me to come in.
- Yes, the inspector's through there. - This way ?
Come in !
Good morning, I'm Molinari. Luca !
- Hi, dad. - I'm Luca's father.
- What's happened ? - Have a seat.
I'll tell you what happened.
Your son and his friend are accused of:
indecent exposure,
committing obscene acts in public and insulting a police officer.
Actually...
I hope you don't mind me saying...
there's nothing wrong with what they did...
Nothing wrong ?
There's nothing wrong with stripping naked in the middle of Rome ?
All this fuss for a Flash Mob !
- A what ? - A Flash Mob.
We arrange to meet via the internet,
we all get together, and do something stupid for a laugh.
- It's just a petty crime... - Petty crime ?
So you're happy
that your son goes to these... "Flash Blobs" ?
- Mobs. - Whatever !
I know, but come on...
We all been in trouble as youngsters.
An occasional joint,
a bit of shop-lifting...
- Like father, like son ! - Thanks for your help, dad.
- I was joking. - Well don't !
Can't you turn a blind eye on this ?
All right, but I'm warning you...
next time you do something like this
you'll be charged, understood ?
Now say to me: "I won't do it again".
I won't do it again.
What about you ?
- Me ? - Yes, you too. "I won't..."
I won't do it again.
Remember, you need to be firm with immature people.
- You're right. - I was talking to your son.
Go, before I change my mind.
Sign out and don't show your faces here again !
I knew you were a softie ! See you next time.
- You want me to bring this back ? - Just keep it... on !
Thanks very much.
- Goodbye. - Sorry.
Luca, come here. We need to talk.
That girl's pretty. Have you gotten it on with her ?
- Dad... for fuck's sake ! - I was just wondering...
"There he lies immobile, having uttered his last breath...
his 'body' dressed..."
Dressed ? That's not right !
- Undressed ! - Right.
Undressed ? Is this a dirty poem ?
THINKING OF YOU
Who's that ?
No one... I charged my phone. Ice-cream, anyone ?
Darling, our exam's next week.
Listen, we've already studied for 42 minutes !
- I'm getting meningitis ! - Okay, one more question.
What is Eugenio Montale's most famous collection of poems called ?
I know, wait.
Something to do with fish, right ? I know it...
- "Fried Fish" ! - "Cuttlefish Bones".
Right, I said it was fish...
- I kept you from your studies again. - Yes.
- It's your therapist's fault. - You mean I'm nuts ?
A little bit.
But you're also irritatingly beautiful.
- Your phone. - Right, hold on.
It's my mum, she never calls me...
Hi, mum. What's up ?
- Where does your dad play soccer ? - At the Rowing Club, why ?
He left his shoes at home, I'll take them to him.
He told me he'd stopped "playing".
- He'll never stop. - Well, I'll take them to him.
No, I'll go. That way we'll spend some time together.
- Bye. - No... mum! Mum!
Sorry, I've got a problem. I have to go.
I'll explain later. Sorry.
Oh, God ! Are you okay ?
I'm all right, don't worry.
Don't worry.
You're the guy who was in my pool !
- I have to go. - What ?
- Are you nuts ? - It's an emergency. I have to go.
You can't go through a red light ! I don't believe it !
Hello ? Emergency ?
- Yes ? - Darling, come down.
- Okay. - Dad.
Hi... I'm just visiting a guy from the club.
- Francesco Darling. - Bullshit, I know she lives here.
Mum's taking your shoes to the club.
- Now what ? - Go there !
Yes, okay.
My team's not playing tonight.
I left my soccer gear in the car. Now what can I do ?
- You'll think of something, just go ! - Any ideas ?
No... all right. I'm going.
Miss Paliani...
Dad had to go, some problem with my mum.
- I'm going too. Goodbye. - Wait.
- I think we should talk. - Yes...
- Now ? - Yes, do you have a minute ?
- Yes... just a minute, though. - Okay.
Here I am, guys !
Sorry, something came up.
- Who are you ? - Listen, guys.
I lied to my wife, she's over there.
- Cover me, please. - What's your name ?
- You'll pay for the field ? - Yes.
- Nice one, Paolo. Let's go ! - Come on !
- Darling !
Your shoes.
Damn, of course.
I completely forgot them. Thank goodness you didn't.
- Is that your wife ? - Yes.
Your husband really loves you, he talks about you all the time.
You didn't tell us she was so sexy.
Let's get on with the game.
- Are you going home ? - No, I'll wait.
You'll wait ? Great. See you later.
- See you. - Let's go.
- Paolo, where are you going ? - This way !
All right, sorry.
Come on !
I know you think I want to break up your family.
Well...
Of course I think that.
I don't need a man in my life. In fact...
- I'm fine being single. - It doesn't look that way.
You see... your dad's a really special man.
- My dad ? - Yes, I knew right away.
I know he loves to joke,
but I can tell he's been through a lot.
Losing his parents so young in that airplane crash.
All those years as a volunteer in Africa,
have made him really sensitive.
He's the first man who respects me and actually loves me.
What are you thinking ?
About volunteer work in Africa.
We talked until late, so I didn't go back to Azzurra.
- Miss Paliani's so unlucky in love. - Really ?
- She even had a fling with the head. - Shrek ? No !
- I swear ! - No way.
Guys, I need a pit-stop.
Come on, Massi !
We'll do another lap. You're a cop out.
- Hi. - You're...
Sorry, I didn't recognize you without...
- I mean with... your T-shirt on. - This is incredible !
My horoscope today says I'll meet...
- Who ? - The love of my life.
Is that so ?
A male Scorpio,
whose charm would win me over.
- What start sign are you ? - Scorpio, with Scorpio rising.
- No way ! - I swear on Monica Bellucci.
You're such a joker !
- I have to go now. - Giulia...
If I call you sometime...
- ..would you mind ? - I'd mind if you didn't.
Okay, I'll call you.
Bye.
You taste nice.
Those tuna sandwiches are awesome !
- Aren't you done yet ? - Keep still.
- I'll cook the pizzas. - Luca !
- Hurry, it's about to start. - Okay, should I serve drinks too ?
If we win, we'll jump into the Trevi fountain.
- Less of that. - Come on !
Azzurra. Excuse me a minute.
Hi, Azzurra.
I'm Azzurra's secretary, would you mind
entertaining her for the evening ?
- You mean now ? - Of course.
Don't tell me you're watching the game with your friends...
Me ? No ! ls there a game tonight ?
- I didn't know. - Let's go out. Rome will be deserted.
Okay, let's go to dinner.
I'll take you somewhere special.
- I'll pick you up. - Okay.
I'll be there soon. Bye.
It's just that...
You carry on...
Just make yourselves comfortable.
If you need anything... I won't be back late.
Hooray for Italy !
How are you ? This is Azzurra.
- Hi. - You never tell me you're coming !
But there's always a table for you.
Especially tonight when the game is on.
Take a seat.
Coming ! You can study the menu.
- He's a nice guy. - He's great.
He does everything: he creates the recipes, cooks and serves.
And sometimes he has dinner with his customers.
- Really ? - Especially if they're female.
- So he's a bit of a playboy ! - No, he's a widower.
He never got over losing his wife.
- Is everything okay ? - Yes.
It's so peaceful here, but those louts...
Goal !
Zambrotta ! Yes !
Sorry, darling.
What were you saying ?
No...
It was a false alarm. I'm not pregnant.
I'm just stressed, it can happen...
Darling, I'm sorry.
I admit it was a bit of a shock,
but I was getting used to the idea.
- I was pleased. - Really ?
So we can try again ?
Of course ! Why not ?
I'll be right back.
That goal shook me up a bit...
Yes ! Yes ! Yes !
- Italy scored again ? - No, it's personal victory.
- I'll tell you if they score. - Thanks.
Miss Paliani !
- Mrs. Molinari... - How are you ?
- Fine, and you ? - Fine. Are you dining alone ?
- Yes. - Who's sitting here then ?
A friend of mine, but he had to leave.
Shit !
I can't go on like this.
Luca was right, I have to put a stop to this.
- Hello ? - I think we should go.
- Me too. - I've lost my appetite.
- Me too. - See you in the car park. Okay ?
I never learn !
- Everything okay ? - It was great.
The veal was delicious.
So, how are things ?
Are you cracking down on your studies ?
I've been a bit distracted by her.
I'm glad you came here tonight.
I was worried he was turning gay.
Come on, Luigi.
- Have you known Luca long ? - Since before he was born.
- What do you mean ? - His mother is my daughter.
He's my grandpa.
Don't use that word, you'll ruin my reputation.
- Why didn't you tell me ? - Well, I don't think of him as my...
That word. But as a friend.
The truth is he doesn't have to pay here.
You have the coolest "friend" in the world !
I like her, marry her !
It's incredible. Everyone loves you.
- My dad said the same thing. - Don't mention that jerk.
- You know him ? - I've met him once.
He's a jerk.
I don't know why my daughter married him.
Excuse me, I just need to...
check the parking meter.
I'll be right back.
Toni headed the ball !
Like Pruzzo in the 80's, remember ?
- No. - Ignorant youth.
Well, you should ! Pruzzo would have scored 7 goals !
- No kidding. - What's the score ?
Three to zero. They're trash !
- You checked the meter ? - Yes.
But it's free after 9pm.
- I had a nice time tonight. - So did I.
So now we can get on with the best part...
What would that be ?
It's wonderful, let's come every night.
We'd be in big trouble if they caught us.
Really 7
- Hi. - Is he jealous ?
- No - Hi.
- And then ? - Then what ?
- Did you screw her ? - No.
- Why not ? - That would've been silly.
I don't want to rush things.
- Right. - What ? You're nuts.
Maybe it was the water, the dolphins...
Be honest, you couldn't get it up.
No.
But it's just a matter of time. She's hooked.
It's her ! She can't stay away !
- You want to hear the voice of love ? - Yes.
Be quiet.
- Hi, Azzurra. - Hi, Luca.
Listen, you're a really nice guy,
but last night was a mistake.
I'm sorry, I don't want to be your girlfriend.
I've got to go. I'll call you, okay ?
Okay.
You reckon ten years of therapy will be enough ?
No!
How come you're here ?
There's something I need to tell you.
Well, Elisabetta, our relationship...
- Yes ? - It's great.
Except for one problem.
Which is ?
Maybe it's best if we don't see each other for a bit.
- But why '.7 - Because...
there's always a reason
when one makes a decision.
Because my wife...
...II.
Terribly ill.
Why didn't you tell me last night ?
Because she turned up and I forgot.
How strange.
She looked so radiant and happy with her friends...
She's a strong woman, she's got balls !
I wish I had balls like that in some situations !
They've given her three or four months at most.
Even though we've drifted apart,
I can't leave her at a time like this. I can't abandon my family !
- Of course, you can't. - I can't leave her.
Even though I'll lose you.
You're a wonderful man, Paolo.
I've screwed 3 firewalls
and I've entered the site.
- There are 300 ring-tones available. - Really ?
I've never heard of you screwing anything.
Very funny ! Give me your iPods.
- Here. - Take mine.
So how's it going with Azzurra '.7
You got over her dumping you over the phone ?
- How do you know ? - It was on Riccardo's blog.
You wrote about me in your blog ?
- It was just for a laugh. - Great !
- We could make money off it. - Right.
Your dad's affair with our teacher
had about 13,000 readers.
- I'm going to kill you ! - Come on, let's study.
- Our exam's in two days. - Tension's rising, eh ?
Will you pass ?
Who knows...
I've been thinking.
I've only ever been with you, and you've only ever been with me.
You should thank your lucky stars.
Yes, but I've started feeling different.
I need to experience new emotions...
- You think you're gay ? - No way !
Why then ? ls there someone else ?
Absolutely not !
So why then ?
You're paranoid ! There's no one else.
It's a message. Must be a wrong number.
Let's read it.
Simona, what about my privacy ! Give it back !
I don't do this to you... Who is it ?
Santilli. He says he's bought a new car.
- Are you leaving me ? - No...
I just need time to think.
Hi.
- Hi, Giulia ! - What have you been up to ?
Just studying. What about you ?
- I've been thinking about you. - Same here.
You want to make love ?
Yes, just tell me where you are ?
- I meant online. - Online ?
- Have you ever done it ? - No, not yet, but...
I'll have a go !
We'll take turns to undress.
Okay, your turn.
Great !
Now your trousers.
Yes.
Now you.
- I want to see you naked. - Naked ?
- Okay, but you get naked too. - Of course.
Now close your eyes.
Giulia, you really turn me on...
There.
Holy cow, it's tiny !
That's why you never strip at the gym !
What are you doing there ?
- We're your orgy ! - Your forbidden fantasy !
- Giulia, do you know them ? - Yes.
- She's my cousin. - Sorry, it was a joke.
Well, screw you... all of you !
- Massi, dinner's ready... - Dad !
It's so hot today !
When you're done,
will you get dressed ? You know your mum...
Sorry.
The joke had been perfect, but it hadn't cheered me up.
The exam was soon, but that was the least of my problems.
- Luca ! - Cream horn ?
Thanks, but I'm allergic to yeast and milk.
Great.
Forgive me for coming, but...
what's going on ?
Am I mistaken or did something happen between us ?
Come in.
You're right. There's something I haven't told you.
I know. The guy you went to Rimini with.
- No, there's no one else. - So why then ?
I didn't have the guts to tell you, but...
- I'm going away tomorrow. - On holiday ?
- I'm moving to Paris. - To live ?
Yes, I've got a job at an aquarium.
It might be for a year or maybe for good.
I'm going to do a PhD in marine biology.
- It's 1,500 km away ! - That's not far !
I can't do long-distance relationships.
- Why not ? - Because I'd hate it !
You'd text me 10 times a day, then 9, then you'd forget me...
- That's not true. - Let's be honest.
- I've decided. - Right.
My train leaves tomorrow... and that's it.
That's it ?
- How can you be like this ? - This isn't easy for me.
Try to help me.
- Who's he ? - Pierre.
How come he's here ?
- He's my friend. - And he walks around half-naked ?
- Are you jealous ? - No, but I don't understand.
You said you don't want a relationship,
then I find him here in his underwear.
What do you expect me to think ?
You want to know if we screwed ?
Go ahead and ask me.
Did you screw him ?
- Would it be a big deal ? - What ?
Right...
You're smart, Azzurra. You're the greatest.
I fell for the distance thing !
- You're a baby. - Am I ?
- Yes. - Fuck you, Azzurra !
You like cream horns, Pierre ? Choke on them !
Use this cream twice daily, until the rash is cleared up.
- Stay out of the sun. - I'll do my best.
- Thank you. - Goodbye.
- Sorry. - Miss Paliani !
- Mrs. Molinari ! - Wait.
Are you lost in the chaos of this hospital too ?
No, I had a check up. How are you ? I heard...
- Did Luca tell you ? - Yes.
Not bad. These things happen. I've got much worse problems !
I really admire your strength !
- You're so brave... - Nonsense !
- I get it every year. - You do ?
- Yes, in different places. - That's awful !
I get itchy, then I use a cream and it goes away.
- A cream ? - Yes, it gets rid of the rash.
- So you have a rash ? - Yes.
I'm running late, I have to go.
- See you soon. - Goodbye.
A rash !
Dr. Doom, your time has come !
In The Fantastic Four, the Thing's my favourite
because he's sad and ugly, but he's funny too.
When he goes like this...
It's the Invisible Woman, there must be an emergency.
Wait here.
Darling, why are you here ?
- You piece of shit ! - Keep your voice down !
- What's wrong with your wife ? - She's so sick, poor thing...
You're the sick one !
- She looked really sick. - Really ?
- But it was just a rash, right ? - The doctor got it wrong.
It wasn't cancer, but a rash.
You have no respect for me !
You make me sick !
You told her mum had cancer ?
- Why the hell did you say that ? - Just because...
Grandpa's right, you're a jerk.
- Who let you in ? - Your sister.
She was going out.
- What do you want ? - To apologize.
I made a mistake, I've changed my mind.
Let's get back together.
Let's go to Alice's party
and let's pretend nothing happened.
- Come on... - Forget it.
I've been thinking too.
We're 18, we're too young to settle down.
That's what I think.
Goodbye.
- Where the hell is Massi ? - I don't know, his phone's off.
- He's sulking. - I'm not surprised.
Yeah, right...
Listen up everyone !
I'm single !
You want to do it with me ? Sorry, you're busy.
- I'm going to be sick. - How gross !
I told you not to mix cola with sangria.
I mean it, get in line !
I'm single !
- Simona, stop it. - You're just a jealous cow !
Your party sucks !
- I'm leaving. - Riccardo !
- Yes ? - Can't you take her home ?
Now 7
I came on foot.
All right, wait. Santilli !
- Yes ? - Lend me your car.
- Be careful, it's new. - Come on !
What a pain !
Thanks, Alice !
- Get off her. Let's go ! - Where ?
- To screw ? - Yes, but first we'll go home.
Simona, we're here.
Remember when you tried to kiss me in Paris ?
- Three years ago. - Yes.
- What the hell are you doing ? - Come on !
I know you've always liked me.
I can't !
- I can't do this to Massi. - Why not ?
Don't worry about that jerk !
- Get out, you bastard ! - Calm down.
- She's my girlfriend ! - Okay, I haven't touched her.
- Get out ! - Okay, but put that thing down.
What ? I'll turn it into a Mini !
Holy shit !
- Come out ! - Calm down.
I'll kill you !
You piece of shit ! She's a slut !
This is my favorite part of the party.
- Cleaning up ? - No.
Being alone with you.
What are you thinking about ?
You're still thinking of her ?
Fuck you, Luca !
- Luca, help me, please ! - Were you here the whole time ?
Yes, but I didn't look.
Riccardo took my car and he hasn't come back !
Santilli, I couldn't care less.
But it's new, it's only done 12 km ! I'm worried !
Shit !
You again ?
Not again !
- Sorry, I didn't... - You're sorry ?
You will be !
Hello ? Emergency ?
Where are you going ?
Stop !
Just get lost, okay ?
I can't stand you !
- Take your damn books ! - Darling, wait...
Excuse me.
Take your damn comics !
- Get lost ! - Antonella...
And your guitar !
Just go home everyone.
What are you looking at ?
- These things happen... - And your computer !
Darling, let me explain...
- Just calm down. - And take these too !
Darling, please...
- Don't... - And your dinosaurs !
No, not my dinosaurs !
- Please... - Get lost !
She read about him on the internet,
her son's friend's blog.
And she found some e-mails he'd written to her.
Everyone knows,
when you chuck e-mails you have to delete them too.
You just press the delete button, right ?
You have to be smart to have an affair,
not like this idiot ! Look what's he's done !
Right ?
Let's end this reality show.
- Let's go. - So you can talk !
Two syllables ? You're scaring me !
- Get lost ! - Feeling better, darling ?
- Stop it... - I'll try to have a word.
- I'll mediate. - Don't worry, it's fine.
- Is it ? - Yes.
- She looks pretty mad to me. - No, she's not...
In fact, she's furious !
No, it's just that... I'm off on a work trip,
mum's just helping me pack.
- Have a good trip ! - You see, it's done now.
Hello ?
They did what 7
I'm coming.
I'll kill him, look what he did !
- Shut up or I'll hit you again ! - Don't talk to me !
- This is an emergency room ! - So what ?
- Just behave ! - Fuck you too.
What's up with you ?
Can't you grow up and be civil ?
Tell this story on your blog like all the others.
You shut your mouth ! You're a traitor.
- Me ? - You pulled a sick stunt on me.
It was just for a laugh.
Anyway, Simona and I split up. What do you care ?
If you'd screwed that girl, you wouldn't care !
- Massimiliano Apolloni. - Here I am.
As far as I'm concerned, you're dead. You're a piece of shit.
Great.
- What the hell did you do ? - What ?
- With Simona ? - Is that what you think ?
- You don't touch your friend's girls. - Who said I did ?
Who are you to judge me ?
I'm sick of your nice-boy face.
Just go home and get off my back.
- Did you hear me ? - You want me to go ?
- Yes, fuck you ! - Same to you.
It was the night before finals.
It wasn't how I expected it to be.
My friends had gone and so had Azzurra.
It was just me and my bad luck.
Schweinsteiger makes his move.
Cannavaro tackles him.
And gives him another chance.
Totti faces Ballack, Italy-Germany.
You know, Luca...
I used to go skiing on the Abetone.
My nickname was Brunello di Montalcino. I was always drunk.
I'd race down the black slope,
and crash at the end.
My teacher used to say: "Well done, Brunello !
Learn from your mistakes !"
- You must've learnt a lot then. - Well...
Dad, I know we learn from our mistakes,
but what's done is done.
What do you mean ?
That... generally speaking,
when a kid needs his father, and he's never around...
that's something he never forgets.
And so generally speaking,
is there any chance that this kid
could forgive his dad ?
- No. - I know.
Even though he loves his dad very much.
You know what ? I don't believe in sayings.
You don't learn jack shit from your mistakes.
Del Piero, 13th minute, extra time.
What's up 7
I have to go. Sorry, bye.
Del Piero crosses.
He gets away from Gilardino. Pirlo, the ball's on the right.
It's a goal!
Fabio Grosso, 13.30 minutes
into extra time. Italia 1 - Germany 0 !
They played a great game.
I don't want to talk to you !
Are you nuts ? It's me.
- Sorry, dad. I thought it was... - How are you ?
Awful. Know what I mean ?
Yes.
You want to come out ?
I'll only take yes for an answer.
Yes.
- How dare you ? - Sorry.
Sorry.
Why are you here ?
Listen... I've been stupid.
Sorry, forgive me. I'm a fool.
There's so much I want to say... I'd like you to...
I had a cool speech ready,
but I've forgotten it.
Improvise.
You can do better than that.
1- O ! Want a return match ?
Dad 7
You haven't brought me here since I got braces.
There's something I want to tell you.
Remember when I went to America, you were a kid,
I stayed away a year ?
Yes, but I don't follow...
You see, I've never been to America.
- Never. - What ?
I cheated on your mum with the neighbour. She was hot stuff !
So she threw me out.
I'd messed up, but I loved your mum.
She realized that and forgave me.
Dad... what are you trying to tell me ?
He's trying to tell you I messed up.
You're the only woman I love.
You don't need me anymore.
Give me 20 euros for a cab, you jerk.
- Thanks. - You owe me.
These are for you.
I'll put them here, in case you want them.
The last time you bought me flowers was when Luca was born.
And after you had liposuction.
- I don't want to talk to you. - Antonella.
Wait a minute.
I know, I'm a jerk. You're right to be mad.
But let me explain.
We had our first kiss here, 22 years ago.
- Do you remember ? - Yes.
And this is where we got two flat tires,
when we were rushing you to hospital to give birth to Luca. Remember ?
Yes.
So many things have happened here.
Shall we show these ninepins that we can start afresh ?
- Come on, Antonella ! - Paolo...
You know why I loved you ?
Because you made me laugh.
You were full of the joys of spring, like Peter Pan.
But Peter Pan never gets old.
Because if he did...
get old, in his green costume,
he'd be a laughing stock, right ?
Goodnight, Paolo.
The 4520 express,
arriving from Termini, Rome...
- ..destination Paris. - Shit, we're in Milan.
Yes...
It's 2am, my exam's at 8.
- Now what ? - Get dressed, at least.
Shit.
- I'll text you when I get there. - Okay, bye.
Break a leg.
I love you.
What time's the next train to Rome ?
- Tomorrow morning. - Tomorrow ?
- And to get a cab ? - They're on strike.
Hey !
Stop !
- Are you crazy ? - No, it's an emergency.
- I've got my final exams tomorrow. - Who gives a shit ?
Please !
- Where's your school ? - It's in Rome.
- No way. - Come on, you're from Rome.
- Is my accent that strong ? - Well...
All right. But tell me something.
Which team do you support ?
I support...
Roma FC ?
No, wrong answer.
But we Lazio fans are good sports. Get in.
- I can take you to Arezzo. - Thanks.
A Roma fan in my truck,
this is a first.
Hello ?
Luca...
Where are you ?
Near Bologna ?
You want me to come get you ?
Arezzo ?
What time's your exam ?
All right. Wait there, I'll come right away.
What are you doing, buddy ?
Being a father.
Dad, we're late.
Come on, we'll get there.
- I apologized to your mum last night. - Great, what did she say ?
I'll try again tonight, there's hope.
- I'm glad. Let's go. - Okay.
Thanks, dad.
- Why were you in Milan ? - I followed the girl of my dreams !
He's a chip off the old block.
Here I am, sorry...
...for being late.
Where were you ?
I'm sorry, I got held up.
They've already started.
Yes, I know but... listen...
I had to go to Milan to see someone really important.
You know the rules.
I travelled all night long to get here.
- I'm only 15 minutes late. - I'm sorry.
- Please. - I can't, Luca.
Miss Paliani...
when you're in love you do stupid things.
Okay... it's fine by us, right ?
Of course.
Let's hear what the commissioner has to say.
- He's on his way. - Okay.
- Here he is. - What's the problem ?
You again 7!
You've already met ?
Luca Molinari showed up a bit late...
could we turn a blind eye ?
- What do you think ? - You want to know ?
Rules are rules: Luca Molinari showed up late...
he can't take the exam.
Wait, please. It was just 15 minutes.
Don't insist.
You could only be excused for serious health problems.
But I'll attest you're in good health,
so you'll take the exam next year.
Let's start.
Well ?
Shall I call emergency ?
If he can't take the exam, I won't either.
Nonsense, sit down.
If they don't...
Have a good day.
Now stop messing around, sit down !
Is this what you want ? Good.
Get out !
Go on.
You'll be set back a year.
Good.
My compliments to you all.
What's your name ?
- Santilli. - Carry on.
Santilli too ?
So now what ?
You can explain to the board
why 95 students missed the exam.
We'll be all over the papers. I hope you're pleased...
He's changed his mind, Luca can take the exam !
That's how my exam started and it finished with a D.
Then things started looking up,
thanks to someone special.
His name is Fabio Grosso, he's a left back.
On July 9th, he scored the most important goal of his life.
Italy's won !
We're the world champions !
Paolo's wife forgave him,
but he didn't stop playing "soccer".
Azzurra left Luca at Christmas.
You can read about their split in Riccardo's blog.
Luca's fallen in love again.
But that's another story...